Happy Birthday to Sunday Everyday.
It has been 12 months since I launched this crazy idea. A lot has happened in a year. The most significant being that I have been finding the freedom to say what I feel.
I have been finding my voice.
For those of you who have been on this journey with me you will know that I have had a history of abuse and trauma.
I have also belonged to suppressive patriarchal systems that don’t allow you to find your voice.
Suppression means to prevent development, action, expression, feeling or idea.
Its been a long time coming but I know, a change gonna come – Oh yes it will
So this last year, on my own, has been liberating, educational and humbling. Thank you for your support and your comments from which I have learned so much.
Suppressive systems are by no means unusual. I guess what made it more difficult for me was being raised from childhood and brain washed into submission. I was never allowed to think critically or to question: anything or anyone. Therefore I didn’t have the skills to challenge suppressive behaviour. I was trained to conform and to submit.
Also, the first thing you learn as an abuse victim is “Don’t Speak” “Don’t Tell”. I learned this from the age of 6 and following events in my life just reinforced this lie.
I clearly remember talking with my girlfriend as she disclosed the fact that she had been sexually abused as a child. We were sitting in a park on our own in totally privacy and she was whispering her story to me. I could barely hear her. This is the level of shame and secrecy that she had lived with. She had lost her voice. She couldn’t speak.
Probably the most important step toward finding a voice is for the victim to redefine self as a “Survivor.” Example: The victim was raped – the survivor lives on.
Disclosure of an unspeakable event is beyond what many can do in the immediate aftermath of abuse but that need not preclude reaching for help. Often it is in that step towards help that a small re-ordering of life begins.
Many survivors tell different aspects of their story in different ways to certain people over the course of many years until they finally find their strongest voice.
This has been my experience. Finding my voice has been a journey over the last 15 years. As I have received healing and treatment for the various broken pieces of my life, I have gained understanding and courage. I have also been given permission, usually by my counsellors and psychologists, to speak out and to verbalise.
To compact this problem, I am also a creative. Creatives speak and think a different language and are often misunderstood. So I also found that I was suppressed and minimised because of my nature. To succeed in a male orientated, conservative church environment, I had to learn their language. I was told to be ‘factual’, ‘don’t be emotional’, ‘speak succinctly’, ‘be logical’ and follow the ‘proper systems and procedures’.
Well to a non-conformist/creative this was extremely hard.
To cap it all off in a conservative fundamentalist church environment there are certain topics that you are not allowed to discuss. You don’t talk about homosexuality, abuse, domestic violence, sexuality, addiction, pornography, patriarchy, mental health, politics or anything that threatens the bubble system.
So I guess you would say that the last 12 months have given me permission to explore some of the topics that I haven’t been able to talk about in the past. For this I am eternally grateful. I am sure that I have been clumsy in my approach, even a bit too loud and stompy. But that’s what happens when you are learning.
So I apologise to those who have cringed at my attempts to tackle some of these tricky issues.
We are all on a journey of discovery. We all have a story to tell. We all come at things from different perspectives and we are in different places in the journey. That is why I so appreciate hearing from you. I am so excited to see how the next year unfolds and where we will all be 12 months from now.
We are all bound and locked in one system or another. Whether it be family culture or society. In the next 12 months I pray that greater freedom comes to us all.
Vision and Clarity in our inner lives.
And favour – which can also be translated as Kindness and Courtesy.
My favourite bible verse Jesus speaking when he says in Luke 4:
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me.
He has sent me to preach good news to the poor,
to proclaim release to the prisoners
and recovery of sight to the blind,
to liberate the oppressed,
and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
This is what its all about. This is what Jesus came to do for us and through us. We need to ask ourselves:
Would people in our families and communities say that we are: inclusive, kind, peaceful, liberating and full of good news? If not then we have a problem.
If the work here is meaningful to you, you can partner with me in a very real way through Patreon.com.
Patreon allows people to financially pledge to support artists, writers, musicians, and other creative people.Sunday Everyday has been on line since the first of February 2015. Since that time I have been doing this in a volunteer capacity. For the blog to continue I need your support. You may want to give the amount you would spend on a coffee and muffin once a month. Every bit helps.
Please help support my ministry and magnify my voice by pledging.
Thanks for considering.